


Lily Evans and her Five Secrets

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-23
Updated: 2007-08-25
Packaged: 2019-01-19 17:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Five boys, all in love with her.  And how many of them did she love?  All.





	1. Chapter One: Lily Evans

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  


Chapter One: Lily Evans

 

            _James Potter; sitting across from her at one of their lovely picnics, leaning over to kiss her tenderly,  
_ _  
__Sirius Black; lying atop her in his bed, kissing her almost violently, leaving her love bites that she would need to cover up with a turtleneck, .  
_ _  
__Remus Lupin; sitting next to her in the Shrieking Shack, pecking her on the lips, telling her how much he loved her,  
_ _  
__Peter Pettigrew; biting his nails nervously with one arm around her shoulder, whispering secrets that never failed to make her laugh into her ear,  
_ __

 

___Severus Snape, running around the school every night with her, always excited to see the smile she wore around him.  
_ __

 

Images of current events flashed before beautiful Lily Evans in her dreams each night.  The five of these boys haunted and enchanted her dreams by night and her thoughts by day.  She thought only of them; which one she liked best that day, which was annoying her most…et cetera.  Of course, none of her classmates or even dormitory-mates knew of any of this. 

 

Lily made sure that nobody would ever find out anything concerning her “scandalous” behavior.  She didn’t think of it as anything…slutty.  She considered it to be more like “loving more than one person at once and letting them know.”  

 

Sure, she was a two-timer, (or maybe a five-timer) but it wasn’t as if she was lying to anyone.  She never told them that she wanted only them; she did tell them that she loved them, which was absolutely true.  

 

Lily couldn’t even think of what her roommates would say if they found out about any of this.  “Whore” she knew they would call her behind her back.  They already thought of her as something along the lines of a tramp, just because she hung out with four boys all the time, (nobody knew about Severus, not even that they were friends).  

 

They all loved her though, even if they never showed it in public; only James was that ignorant.  James knew that Lily wanted to keep their relationship a secret (he didn’t know why though) but he continued to pledge his love for her in front of everyone.  Lily wasn’t the least bit worried; James had done this even before started going out.  

 

James had pledged himself to her back their fourth year and she had repetitively refused him.  He never got tired of it though, he kept going.  It was his persistence that assured her that they would be an (almost) perfect match.  He was the first of the five to ever love her and to receive her love.  The more and more intense their relationship got, the more and more she longed for another:

 

Sirius.  He was probably the best looking boy in all of Hogwarts, and Lily was quite fond of him.  Sirius was probably two-timing Lily herself, he tended to do that to poor innocent girls.  Lily was no innocent girl, though.  The thought of anyone but herself with Sirius didn’t bother her, it relieved her.  She wasn’t the only cheater…and she could trust him.  Lily told him about all the other boys and he told her about the other girl(s).  If he told about hers, she could always tell about his, so neither said a word.  But Lily did love him, and part of him, no matter how small that part was, loved her right back.   


 

Sirius and Lily never actually ‘dated’ or were ever ‘dating’.  He was the one that she could fool around with without getting hurt.  They had more of a physical relationship, though she never once go anywhere beyond intense snogging with him (nor did she plan to).   


 

Then, there was Remus.  He was the only boy that Lily actually felt bad about.  Remus was probably the kindest person that she had ever met.  He had the most problems of anyone that Lily knew, yet he never said anything mean about anyone or did anything rude to another person.  Lily knew how sensitive he was; she felt terrible about how she was treating him.  She knew that if the boys found out, he would take it the hardest.   


 

Remus and she could sit talking for hours, just relaxing together.  Being in his company made her happy, it made her world a better place.  Any of her worries were _whooshed_ away when she was in his company, especially when it was just the two of them.  They spent most of their time alone in the Shrieking Shack, just talking, cuddling, and occasionally some gentle, loving kissing.   


 

Peter Pettigrew; such a character.  He was always nervous and seemed anxious about every little thing.  Peter was always fiddling with something, probably to distract him from being so worried.  Lily remembered when Peter first asked her out:

 

_~Flashback~  
_ __

 

___“Hey, Lily!  Would you…uhhh… come take a walk with me?  I…erm I want to talk to you.”  As Peter said this, he stuttered and stammered, all the while biting on his fingernails.  
_ __

 

___“Sure Peter, I’ll be right there,” Lily rushed over to him, admiring how cute he looked; short, plump, and very eager.  She had always found him loveably attractive; but then again, Lily Evans found everyone loveable.  She was just that kind of person.  
_ __

 

___They walked for a while, just chatting about things like exams and homework.  After a while, Lily said, “Peter, I think that you said that there was something you wanted to talk to me about?”  
_ __

 

___“Oh…yes I believe there was something,” his voice began to crack with every word muttered, “I was just wondering if maybe you would like to um…”  he managed to get that much out, and then bent over, leaned to the side, and threw up.  His cheeks grew pink with embarrassment.  
_ __

 

___“Peter!  Are you alright?  Do you need to be taken to the Hospital Wing or would you just like to sit and catch your breath?”  Lily comforted him and brought him over to a small hill overlooking the lake.  
_ __

 

___“Tha…that’s alright Lily, I think I’ll be alright,” he started biting his nails again, “I was just woh…wondering if you would like to um…be my er…girlfriend?”  
_ __

 

___“Oh Peter!  I would just love that!  But will you do me a favor please?” she knew that this was when she would either bless it or blow it; “Would you mind not telling anyone about this?  I mean, I know that James really likes me and I wouldn’t want his feelings to get hurt?”  
_ __

 

__

_“Most definitely, Lily.  I’d do anything to make you happy.”  His words were a bit more confident this time; he knew he’d just completed his goal.   Lily grinned, mission accomplished!_   

 

_~End Flashback~_   


 

 

Lily knew that all of the boys would believe her story; they knew how she hated to hurt people’s feelings.  As for her story to James, she told him that Remus would be devastated, so he shouldn’t tell anyone anything.  

 

Easiest to tell was Snape.  She didn’t even need to lie; they both knew that their relationship could never be made public, so he pretended to hate her every minute that they were in the company of others.  Their relationship was the most fun.  He was so in love with her and she with him.  They roamed the castle together; sneaking about and exploring a different part of Hogwarts each night.  After each new find, they would have to mark it as their own.  They only knew one way of doing that; giving themselves up to each other, body for body.  

 

Though Lily loved each of her five boys dearly, she knew which one she would end up with.  _The one I’ll end up is many things, but his is_ not _Marauder,_ Lily said to herself.  She knew her true love was and would always be Severus Snape.  She was so confident of this that she snuck into the Slytherin boys’ dormitory one night over Christmas break and lost her virginity to Severus Snape.  

 

_~Flashback~  
_ __

 

___“Slyonesdontlove” Lily whispered the password that Severus had given her into the portrait guarding the Slytherin common room.  It was very different from the one she was used to, much darker and colder.  And the warm colors that she was used to were replaced with cooler silver and green shades.  
_ __

 

___She looked out the window; what a beautiful evening.  The darkness of the night was countered with the fat snowflakes falling slowly and gently through the sky.  The full moon was out, that was the only reason that she could get out of the Gryffindor common room unseen.  She knew that her ‘friends’ were already outside and transformed by the time she left.  
_ __

 

___Nobody was in the Slytherin common room, Severus told Lily that nobody stayed during the holidays except for him.  “All of these horrible pure-bloods go home to be_ more _spoiled by their rich parents.  They have somewhere to go for Christmas, if I went home, Dad would beat me.  He hates magic and everything to do with it…that’s why he hits Mom,” Snape had told Lily, much to her surprise.  
_ __

 

___Lily found the correct path to the boys’ dormitory and snuck right in.  Snape was sitting in bed, waiting for her.  She’d told him that she would be coming on the night of the full moon, and that was the night that it was.  
_ __

 

___She immediately ran over to him and climbed into bed with him.  She wrapped her entire body around his and kissed him romantically.  Before they knew it, they were undressed and passionately making love for the very first time…  
_ __

 

__  
_They both woke up the next morning, fully exposed and each thinking about the night before, savoring the memories.  They sat in bed, laughing and snogging for a while more and then it was time for Lily to leave.  Neither of them wanted her to go, but they knew that she had no choice.  He sensually helped her get her clothing back on and she left with an “I love you” and a short peck on the lips.  
_ __

 

___~End Flashback~  
_ __

 

__

 

 Lily Evans had the ability to see the good in others that normal people could not.  Lily Evans had a soft spot for anyone who did not belong, who did not have anyone else to go to.  Lily Evans had looks that most people would kill for.  Lily Evans had charm, lust, happiness, and kindness.  Lily Evans had a problem; she was in love with five different boys.  


	2. Chapter Two: James Potter

  


Chapter Two: James Potter

 

            Who am I?  The captain, star, and seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.  I am the smartest boy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  I am a Marauder, (that means that I can make mischief without getting in trouble for it.  It also means that my three best friends are Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.) and the most popular boy at my magical school.  All of the girls love me and my fellow Marauders, though they cover up their love by telling us how thick and self centered we are.  This doesn’t matter to me, and it never should; (I’m just telling you so that you’re aware) but I am a pureblood Wizard.  That doesn’t mean that I believe that any other type of Wizard is lower than me, I’m in love with Lily Evans for goodness sakes! 

 

            I’ve been pining away for Lily Evans ever since I laid eyes on her.  She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.  Her cute red hair, that soft, pale skin, and those deep green eyes that you could just get lost in.  My first year, we became close friends, but then I blew it by asking her out the day we got back from summer holiday start of second year.  After that, she distanced herself from me.  It got more and more difficult for me to handle by fourth year, so I constantly followed her and kept asking her out.  She always said no, and grew closer and closer to that stupid prat Snivellus.  She was always the one to defend him whenever we Marauders were giving him trouble.  I was worried that she was in love with him, so I decided to stop it. 

 

_~Flashback~  
_ __

 

___There they sat; my beautiful Lily (she wasn’t quite mine yet…I was still working on it,) and that hideous Snivellus. How dare he!  She was obviously mine; anyone would be able to see that.  What right did he,_ a Slytherin, _have to take_ my _love?  None, absolutely none.  
_ __

 

___They were talking calmly, cuddling almost.  He whispered something in her ear, something that made her laugh.  He loved her, so very much, I could tell.  I had only seen Snivellus smile when he was with Lily.  At all other times, he looked angry, sad, depressed even.  Still, I hated him.  He stole_ her _from me!  How could I not despise him?  
_ __

 

___They were giggling at something he’d just said, when they locked eyes.  She quickly looked down, I knew why.  Because she didn’t love him, she wanted me at that very moment.  Fine, I’ll admit it…she loved him dearly and wasn’t even thinking of me.  She looked down because that is what Lily Evans did when she was nervous.  She must have thought that they were about to kiss, and though she must’ve been ecstatic, she was also very scared; she’d never kissed anyone before.  Then again, neither had he…he was greasy, ugly Severus Snape for goodness sakes!  
_ __

 

___One might ask how I was so privileged to be able to see this beautiful (not) scene. Well, I was perched directly behind this wonderful couple, yet very invisible to everyone around me.  My wonderful cloak had been serving me well these past years at Hogwarts, and had preformed better than ever while I was sitting there, watching Lily share her first kiss with disgusting Snivellus!  
_ __

 

___I think I might have let out a small yell, or maybe even a loud scream, I was so shocked.  Luckily, they noticed nothing.  I knew what it was like to have your first kiss; you don’t realize anything’s happening for the next day or two.  I shared mine with a little girl (ironically with red hair and green eyes) back home over the summer last year.  She was my sweet little crush, but I’d never forgotten about Lily.  But the kiss still counted; something to brag about with Sirius who had girls dangling from his arms left and right.  
_ __

 

___The precious (once again…not!) couple got up from their *cute* picnic and walked back to the castle, holding hands.  I and my geniusness decided to pull a prank, you could call it.   I ran up and shoved my body in between the two of them.  It must’ve felt very strange, having nothing start pushing on your hand.  Well, being in the first kiss bliss that they were experiencing, they didn’t really care.  They just walked away from each other and waved dazedly.  Mission accomplished…almost.  
_ __

 

___~End Flashback~  
_ __

 

__

            I could tell by the way that they looked at each other that they were in love and it made me sick. Well, thank goodness Lily finally came to her senses and went out with me.  I had to follow her around _everywhere_ to finally get her to say yes.  I know, a strange technique, but hey it worked!  It was right next to our tree by the lake, (by our, I mean the Marauders’).  She was arguing with me about something, I don’t ever remember what it was.  Well, out of nowhere I asked, “Evans, go out with me.”  It was less of an “ask” and more of a “tell”.  I think that she was expecting this; I never failed to give up an opportunity to ask her to be my girlfriend.  “YES!  I mean…no!  wait, come here James, we need to speak.”  I was almost there…

 

            “Listen James, I would like to be your girlfriend, but I don’t know if I can.  I mean, I think that Remus might have a bit of a thing for me, and I really do not want anyone’s feelings to get hurt.  I will go out with you if you promise me one thing; do not tell anyone!”  

 

            Lily made me swear not to tell a soul, and I haven’t.  I would never date Lily as a prize; she was not someone to brag about.  I just wanted her to treasure and be mine.   Even if I did want to flaunt Lily about, I would never be able to hurt my fellow Marauder and one of the best friends I have, Moony.  

 

            “Whatever you say!”  I wasn’t going to lie to her, “Lily, my love, you really are very smart.  How did you know that ol’ Moony liked you?”  I couldn’t fathom how complex the minds of women were, how did they figure these things out?  I only knew about Remus’ fancy because he _told_ me; I never would’ve been able to figure it out alone!   

 

            “It’s just because I’m smart, James.  You’ll find that most girls are however surprising that might be to you,” when she said this, her brilliant green eyes sparkled like they only did when she giggled.   “We tend to notice these types of things, we can tell.” 

 

            She amazed me.  She always had, but now more than ever.  Now that she finally agreed to go out with me! I was ecstatic, I couldn’t believe any of it was really actually happening.  

 

            I was so happy that we were finally together that I didn’t even notice that Lily was always busy…

 

**A/N: sorry to all of those James/Lily shippers, I’m afraid that this story is really about her with the other boys** _and_ James…he’ll just have to wait his turn!  Okay, I’ll explain how this story is going to work:  Each boy gets one or two (I haven’t decided yet)  and Lily gets as many as she needs.   



	3. Chapter Three: Sirius Black

  
**A/N: Sirius is awesome!  
** ****

 

Chapter 3: Sirius Black

 

            I’m supposedly dating Lily Evans, Alice Smith, and this Ravenclaw girl…I’m not sure what her name was exactly.  I’m Sirius Black.  I’m the most sexy boy in all of Hogwarts, or so I’ve been told.  My best friends are James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.  Well, not really Peter.  He only tags along with us to get Evans’ attention.  I think that he doesn’t have any friends.  Well, I don’t really care.  Here’s more about me:  

 

             I have the worst background thinkable; my parents and cousins _and_ aunts and uncles all support the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who is what people call him.  I hate my family, probably why I’m the first Gryffindor in the history of my 27 generation family.  Everyone else, every single person, has been in Slytherin.  Actually, I’m second.  My favorite cousin, Andromeda, was also in Gryffindor.  Her parents beat her for it though; mine just kicked me out of the house.

 

            I’ve been living with James for a few years; ever since my mum went crazy.  She calls me a blood traitor, but you should hear what she calls my friends.  James; also a blood traitor.  Remus Lupin; the dirty, unnatural beast.  Peter; the filthy half-blood.  She screams her head off, never ceasing to shut the hell up.  

 

            My brother, Regulus Armistices, is a bit of a prick (I only state his middle name because that is what I call him; Armie).  I think that he’s a good kid…but I can never tell.  He gives into peer-pressure quite easily, yet he knows the difference between right and wrong.  I think he’ll turn out all right.  

 

            Alright, let’s get back to the girls I’m dating:  Alice Smith, very cute with a nice round face.  I think she’s dating me for my looks; she is always giving this funny look (which I recognize as love) to my most nerdy roommate, Frank Longbottom.  They would be a nice couple I guess…but she’s fun to be with.  I like her. 

 

            My Ravenclaw girl, she’s _HOT_!  If you ask me her name, I won’t be able to tell you.  I will be able to tell you what her bed looks like, or what you can find inside of her pants.  But her name…forget it!  I don’t love her, I don’t even like her.  But she’s a babe, and she likes me!  It’s a perfect relationship.  

 

            Then, there’s Lily Evans; the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts; nicest too.  Well, she’s nicest to everyone she’s _not_ in love with.  Yeah, I know it all; she tells me everything.  I know that she’s dating James, Remus, _and_ Peter.  I’m not quite sure why she’s dating Peter, but she has that thing, the seeing good thing.  I don’t get it, there’s something special about that girl.  And there must be something with her and Snivellus; I can’t figure out if its love or hate.  Very confusing people…

 

            Lily and I snog a lot.  Well, I snog with everyone a lot, it’s just its more fun with her.  She hangs out with us boys more than with the girls, so we usually fool around in my dormitory.  Besides, if I try to get into her dorm, it’ll turn into a slide.  My fellow Marauders leave me alone whenever they go looking for Lily; they think I’m with Alice.  I’m actually with the girl of everyone’s dreams.  I love being with her; I remember our first kiss: 

 

_~Flashback~  
_ __

 

___“…So I feel terrible about all of the boys, I just really love all of you guys!” Lily was telling me.  I couldn’t help but stare, she was mesmerizing.  It was hard to concentrate on anything she said; I couldn’t pay attention to anything but her eyes.  
_ __

 

___She was saying something about dating a lot of people.  I only heard her last sentence, and I only caught the important words; “I love you”.  No, that couldn’t be it…I must’ve heard her wrong.  I should've listened._  
  
_“Sirius, are you even listening?”  Erm, no I wasn’t, but I didn’t say that.  
_ __

 

___“Of course,” I lied, “Lily, I could never ignore you.”  Now that was telling the truth.  
_ __

 

___“Well then, you would know that I just said that I love you.”  
_ __

 

___I starred at her; hardly believing that she was confirming what I thought I had heard.   I was so happy, but I didn’t know what to do.  I obviously couldn’t tell her that I loved her back; I had a reputation to keep up!  
_ __

 

___“Oh, well then I might just have to…”  I leaned over to her, my face close to hers.  I brought her face up to mine and kissed her gently on the lips.  She pulled me closer, deepening our kiss.  It was wonderful, we just sat there, in my four poster bed, all day; talking and kissing.  
_ __

 

___~End Flashback~_   


 

            Haha…I win!  Just kidding, we Marauders don’t compete with each other; we already know we’re the best!  The best part is that we aren’t just the best looking, most popular boys in this school, (I am not including Peter!), but we are also the smartest.  James and I are really the most intelligent, at important things like causing trouble without being blamed for it.  Remus is the most book smart, actually he’s the most all around smart; he comes up with most of our plans and then says that they’re stupid and that we’ll get caught.  Haha, he’s a prefect.  Back to Lily; 

 

            We talk loads too, it isn’t just fooling around.  She tells me everything, or at least she _says_ that she tells me everything.  Parts of her stories always seem to be missing.  It’s weird.  But she’s so nice.  If ever I say something mean about _anyone_ , she says something like “Oh, Sirius, you shouldn’t talk about people behind their backs!” 

 

             I’ve never met anyone like her.  She makes everyone smile; nobody can look at her and frown.  She can walk into a room and make everybody happy.  She glows.  The funniest thing about her is that she seems so innocent.  You would never ever think that somebody like her would be able to do what she’s doing.  That’s why she gets away with it, nobody suspects her.  I respect that because I _know_ that everyone suspects me, and rightfully so. __  


 

            There is just one problem with dating Lily. It might be just me, or it might be like this for everyone who dates her.  It’s just that…well; I think I might be errrmm…in love with her, THERE!  I admitted it, I’m in love.  UCH I cannot believe I just said that.  Shit.  I cannot be in love.  Sirius Black DOES NOT FALL IN LOVE!  What is wrong with me?  I told you; there is a problem with dating Lily Evans.  

 

 

**A/N: Sorry about the length; or lack of it!  A special thanks to ToonMili, you rock my socks!  Sirius was hard to write about, he and James are so alike and I didn’t want to repeat things.  Remus’ and Severus’ will be longer and much more interesting, I promise!  Thanks for Reading…now Review!!!**   



	4. Chapter Four: Remus Lupin

  
**A/N: If you look in my biography section, you will see that Remus Lupin is one of my favorite Harry Potter characters.  I love Lupin!  
** ****

****

**Disclaimer:  “Yeah…I’m the owner of Harry Potter which is why I’m sitting in front of a computer writing instead of making millions by publishing 871 page books.”** Diandra’s voice drips with sarcasm.  I don’t own Harry Potter. L

Chapter Four: Remus Lupin

            Until I met Lily Potter, I had not have any love in my life.  Sure, my parents.  Maybe even the Marauders.  But true love like this?  No way.   I’ve read about love, a lot about love actually.  What I’m feeling now is exactly how my books describe love; they call it a _passion without limits._ My love for Lily Evans is in fact unlimited.  I tell her everything, I’ve even told her about my secret.  The secret that makes me hate myself.  The secret that keeps me from acceptance, the secret that puts everyone around me in terrible danger.  The secret of being a werewolf.  

_~Flashback~  
_ __

___“Lily, I think…I think I have something I might need to tell you.  If you decide that you never want to be around me, even ever see me again, I’ll completely understand.  I won’t blame you if you do.  I wish that I could run away from myself…so I’ll be fine when, well if I guess, you leave.”  I said to her.  She was so intriguing; it was hard to find the right words.  She looked at me with this look of understanding; it was painful to see because I knew that she would jump up and disappear the second the word ‘werewolf’ left my lips.  I couldn’t bear to look at her.  
_ __

___“Lily, I’m a werewolf.  Please, Lily leave.  I won’t put you in danger, and I know you’re terrified and probably disgusted right now.  So just leave me.”  I now saw that tears were running down her face.  Despite this, she looked as beautiful as ever.  
_ __

___“Remus,” she said.  This was it, the part when she told me to never touch her again:  “Remus, did you actually think that I would care about something like that? I surely hope that you don’t think that I’m that kind of person.   How could you ever think that I wouldn’t love you because of a horrible thing that happened to you?”  As she finished her sentence, she hugged me tightly around the neck.  
_ __

___“The thing that I really don’t understand, Remus, is that you are the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate person I know, but you have the most horrible condition in the world that you have to live with.  The other people that I know that have had horrible childhoods and lives are terrible people who always turn their backs on the world, never seeking attention or friendship, only evil.  You’re really amazing, Remus.  I love you.”  
_ __

___Deciding that my excitement gathered up enough courage, I lifted up her head with my hands and kissed her lightly on the lips.  I expected her to turn away quickly, but instead she opened up her mouth and started snogging me; right in the middle of the common room!  Sure, it was empty, but somebody could’ve easily walked down to see us.  I pulled away; what would happen if I had a cut inside my mouth and she did as well?  I could easily pass on the curse of the werewolf to her.  That was a risk that I was not willing to take.  
_ __

___She asked me why I stopped kissing her; I told her the truth.  She once again hugged me and told me not to worry about it; that I was worth it to her.  
_ __

___“No, Lily, nothing is worth this; especially something like a kiss.  I know that we shouldn’t even be dating; I’m much too dangerous.  Besides; I’m a monster.  I don’t deserve love.  You do…you do more than anyone else.  You shouldn’t be with me.”  
_ __

___“Remus, I love you” she said as she started kissing me again…  
_ __

___~End Flashback~  
_ __

__

I could hardly believe it; Lily Evans accepted me for who I was.  She didn’t even care about how different I was; I was amazed. This changed everything!  I was able to take her to the Shrieking Shack, able to tell her all of the stories that James, Sirius, Peter, and I shared, all of the fun memories we’ve had while running around the grounds, fully transformed.  

            She made the biggest sacrifice for me; she learned how to transform.  She knew that all of us; the Marauders, that is, enjoyed her company.  She wanted to be able to run about with us, share those happy memories that we told her of after I admitted my problem to her.  She was the most beautiful of all the animals; it is a fact that your personality determines your species.  (That fact has always made me very nervous about Peter…a rat?)  

            Lily turned into a Unicorn; pure white with a coat of opal.  In the moonlight, her coat shimmered and changed into fluorescent colors.  Everything changed about her except for her eyes.  They stayed the most brilliant shade of green that twinkled when she smiled.  

            When she’d first told us that, after much practice, she learned to transform into a Unicorn, I thought that she’d keep her beautiful red hair as a coat.  I loved her hair, so red and fiery, it looked brilliant in the sun light.  I’d always had a bit of a liking of women with brilliant hair; especially really rare colors.  It makes a woman unique, and I suppose I like that.   

            But when she first transformed for us, the Mother of Pearl sheen that showed when she moved was enough color for me.  It turned the most spectacular shade of blue, almost turquoise.  If I don’t marry Lily Evans; I’ll marry a girl with colorful hair.  Preferably pink; it’s my favorite.  (Are you surprised that everyone thinks I’m a pouf?)

            Uch…I must not let myself get so sidetracked; I'm telling a story for goodness sakes!  Anyway, Lily and we Marauders ran about every full moon eve.    We usually stopped at the Shrieking Shack to get ready for my transformations, but once we were all altered into our animal alter egos, we ran into the forest, never slowing down or ceasing to have fun.   

            Oh my goodness, she’s addicting, I can’t get her out of my head.  I’m so in love with Lily, she’s perfect!  She's such a complex, beautiful person.  She isn’t normal; she's not like the normal popular girls.  She has many friends because she’s nice; not because she’s mean and rude.  She understands everyone; she won’t judge a person on what is outside, or even what is inside.  Lily looks deeper than that.  She looks into your soul, into your past.  She’s even nice to that awful Snape, she reckons he had a horrible childhood and that he’s really a good person underneath all of that hatred.  I disagree, but there’s no contradicting Lily Evans.

            She has to be right.  She usually is too, that’s one thing I respect about her (especially since I’m one of the people that she figures she's right about.  I’m not; I’m a horrible monster, not a good person, though I try my best.)  She has an ability that nobody else I know has.  She can see the good in people who are not good one little bit.  She can look past the horror of a person’s family or name (Sirius), condition (me), past (Snape), and coincidence (James).  She can realize how amazing a person is by just talking to them for a few minutes.  Lily Evans is blessed, gifted, and beautiful.  She is perfect.  

            I feel so terrible for her; having to be with me.  Maybe she does it because she feels sorry for me.  Maybe she does it because she's such a nice person.  She says she loves me, but how can I believe that?  How is it possible that someone so wonderful, so pure, could love somebody like me, a creature of the night, a beast?    I don’t understand.  It’s a wonder the Marauders accepted me, but Lily too?  It’s too much for me, though I know that I’ll never let go.  I know that if I’m ever without her, I’ll be miserable.  


	5. Peter Pettigrew and Potential Pain

  


Chapter Five: Peter Pettigrew and Potential Pain

 

              _I’m sitting beside Lily Evans,_ my _girlfriend, Lily Evans.  I, Peter Pettigrew, am sitting next to Lily Evans; the most beautiful, popular, exciting girl in all of Hogwarts,_ Peter Pettigrew thought while, obviously, sitting next to Lily Evans.  They had been dating for about three months now.  Considering all things, three months was a very long time.  Everyone knew that Lily was destined for James Potter, but she never quite took the same liking to him as he did to her. She, instead, took great interest in his best friends (and worst enemy); therefore, she became very close with Peter.  

 

            They didn’t spend _a lot_ of time together; he knew that she didn’t want people to know about them.  Anyhow, they spent enough time together to get to know one and other really well.  He found out that he was in love with her.  The problem was that she made him extremely nervous.  He was always self-conscious around her, always thinking _why would she want to be with_ you _if she could have James or Sirius?_  Because of these thoughts, his nervous habits went into overdrive.  He was always stuttering or biting his nails; he _really_ hoped that she didn’t think it was _too_ obnoxious.  

 

            The couple was eating lunch in the Great Hall with Sirius, James, and Remus.  Lily had a strange issue with “public display of affection”ing, so Peter was sitting quietly beside her, chomping on his nails nervously.  He did _not_ want to mess this up.  He was always trying to impress Lily.  He even hung out with the Marauders so that she would think that he was up to par.  He knew that the other Marauders thought that he was just a tag-along, and didn’t really like him.  All Peter wanted was for Lily to consider him…and she did!   

 

            It felt fantastic when he first asked her out.  He was so terribly nervous; all he remembered was avoiding Lily’s beautiful green eyes and biting his finger nails.  She’d told him not to mention their relationship with _anyone._ He’d wondered why she strained that point so much, so often, but he always thought; _whatever it takes to be with her._ He’d never talked about Lily with anyone; she was too precious to him.  They would go on walks around the grounds together.

 

            _Wait,_ thought Peter, _why is Padfoot rubbing_ my _girlfriend’s leg?  Why is she letting him?  She’s supposed to be dating ME!  Sirius Black is already dating_ two _other girls!  He doesn’t deserve Lily Evans!  Holy crap…why is she playing footsie with Moony?  She’s talking suggestively with James, WHY?  I don’t understand.  Okay…she’s turning around.  EWW!!!!! She just winked at Snivellus!  Does she not realize that I’m looking straight at her?  Is she grabbing my hand?  I’m so flipping confused!  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I can’t just sit here, can I?  I can’t let four other guys try to make the moves on_ my _girlfriend.  I’ve never done anything courageous in my life; I’m going to start now!  
_ __

 

__

“Um…Sirius; I’d, erm…appreciate it if, you, well…took your hand off of _my_ girlfriend’s leg.  Remus, don’t touch her feet.  James, I know you love her, mate, but why are you talking to her like that?  Everyone, just stop…please.” Though his confidence grew while talking, Peter regretted saying the sentences as soon as he completed the sentence.  All three boys erupted:

 

            Remus turned to Lily first, “Lily, what?  I don’t understand what going on here…you said that you loved me.  You even changed for me.  Lily, I love you.” a look of comprehension started to appear on his face as he asked, “Lily, are you dating _all_ of us?”  

 

            James and Sirius exploded onto Peter, neither knowing that the other was dating Lily.  “Peter Pettigrew…” started James while both he and Sirius were tackling Peter to the ground. 

 

            “Lily” said Sirius.

 

            “Evans” said James

 

            “Is” 

 

            “My”

 

            “Girlfriend!” When both Sirius and James said this at the very same time, the got off of Peter and attempted to kill each other instead.  The pair of boys often agreed that nothing, not even magic, could match the damage done by brute strength.  Sticking to this motto, they punched, kicked, choked, scratched, and bit the crap out of each other.  During these twenty or so minutes of craziness, Peter ran to the dormitory, screaming, and Remus just sat next to Lily, both of them silently crying on the others shoulder.  Neither was sure exactly _why_ Remus would let Lily do this, but they didn’t care.  Remus knew how hard this must’ve been for Lily, so he tried to be empathetic.  The he realized what was really going on and confronted her about it.  

 

            “Lily, I know you.  You’re a good person; I don’t understand why you would put so many peoples’ feelings on the line just for your benefit.  I know that you must have a reason, Lily.”  

 

            “Oh, Remus!” she said, “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone!  I didn’t want it to work out this way!  It’s just…well, I love all of you.  You know I would never try to make _anyone_ feel bad, _ever!_  I just wanted all of you to be happy, with me.  I’m so sorry, Remus, especially to you.  I never wanted to hurt you; you’re the nicest person I know.  You never give up, even with all of the setbacks that you have.”  

 

            He didn’t know what to say, what was there to say?  He definitely couldn’t just pretend like nothing happened.  He was still badly hurt _and_ still recovering from the awful shock of it all; it was only moments after Remus realized what was going on, after all.  He couldn’t handle this, he’d been with her for almost the entire school year and she’d been cheating on him the entire time?  It was the second to last week of their seventh year and she might’ve destroyed the Marauders’ friendship.  Remus hoped that they were stronger than that; he hoped that the group could hold it together.  No, he didn’t hope, he was sure that they would be able to get through this.  Sure, they would never EVER speak to Lily again, but they would be able to stay friends through all of this shit.  

 

            All that Remus said to Lily was, “I’m sorry, Lily.  There’s nothing I can do for you.  Even if I could, I wouldn’t.  I won’t pretend that I’m not hurt, or that everything’s going to be okay, because it’s not.  Lily…I'm sorry, but don’t talk to us anymore…any of us.  I think you’ve done enough damage.”  

 

            Even Remus was surprised at his harsh words; he was never anything but kind and gentle with people’s feelings.    His shock was nothing compared to Lily’s.  At first, she just looked at him as if he was not Remus Lupin.  Then, she abruptly got up and ran away, crying.  Remus couldn’t help but feel bad, but he quickly shook the thought away and tried to break up Sirius and James.

 

            “GUYS…guys, break it up!  Remember who you are; best friends, fellow Marauders, Sirius Black and James Potter!  Get off of each other now, do you really think that some girl is worth the Marauders fighting over?  It’s not as if one of you knew and didn’t tell the other!  So just stop.”  

 

            Sirius immediately turned red at Remus’s second to last statement.  Sirius did know…he never thought about it though.  _Wait,_ he thought to himself, _why was I fighting with James?  I_ knew _that James was dating Lily…why didn’t I think of it before?  I **hate** love; it’s so blinding!   
_ __

 

__

“What the hell is wrong with us?  We are the Marauders for goodness sakes!  We can’t let some whore get in the way of our friendship!  What we need to do is forget all about her…I know it’ll be difficult, but we’ve got to get through this, together.”  Padfoot was always the best speaker of the group.  

 

            “Hear, hear,” said Moony, “My thoughts exactly.”  

 

            “I guess so…” was all James could say.  He couldn’t think of anything but Lily.  _How could she have done this to me…to all of us?  It just doesn’t make any sense.  Did she think that she could actually get away with this?  She messed with the wrong guys; the Marauders don’t let girls like her get away with hurting us so badly.  Did she not realize that we would get her back somehow; it wasn’t as if she was dealing with Snivellus or anything._ With this thought, James became even more angry and depressed.  _Bloody hell…she was messing around with Snivels, too.  That little…_ on and on his thoughts continued.  All he could think of were curse words to describe Lily Evans.  

 

            After a while of sitting in silence, the four boys decided that they should go back to the dorms.  Once upstairs, they went to bed.  It was only after they had all woken up that they discussed what would be done for revenge.  

 

**A/N:  My goodness, that chapter was REALLY choppy.  I apologize; it must’ve been a total bore to read!  There are two more chapters to this story; Snape’s (YAY!) and the final one, called Revenge, which is told by all four Marauders, much like this one.  I’d like to hear your thoughts on this chapter, please leave a review!  Thank you all so much,  
** ****

 

******Diandra**   



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